export default [
	{
		title: "Cooking",
		description: "Some stuff I've made in the kitchen.",
		synopsis: "Some stuff I've made in the kitchen.",
		url: "/img/gallery/food/",
		date: new Date("October 20, 2025"),
		galleryImage: "_DSC0036_compressed.webp",
		galleryImageAlt: "",
		pictures: [
			{
				title: "A batch of palmiers",
				filename: "_DSC0033_compressed.webp",
				altText:
					"Fifteen sugar-encrusted palmier pastries on a cooling rack atop a wooden table. The cookies are curled on both ends such that they resemble ears.",
				thumbAltText:
					"Fifteen sugar-encrusted palmier pastries on a cooling rack atop a wooden table. The cookies are curled on both ends such that they resemble ears.",
				caption:
					"2025-10-18 - Part of a batch of palmiers I made over the weekend; these crunchy, sugary little ears are quite possibly my favorite thing to make with a box of frozen puff pastry.",
			},
			{
				title: "Would you believe this is tofu?",
				filename: "double-frozen-silken-tofu.webp",
				altText:
					"What looks like seared sliced chicken breast on top of some greens next to some pickled beet slices.",
				thumbAltText:
					"What looks like seared sliced chicken breast on top of some greens next to some pickled beet slices.",
				caption:
					"2025-03-27 - This is what you get if you freeze and defrost silken tofu twice, press hard to drain all water, then sear in a pan.",
			},
		],
	},
	{
		title: "Illustration",
		description:
			"I'm not much of an illustrator, but here are a few things I've done over the years.",
		synopsis:
			"I'm not much of an illustrator, but here are a few things I've done over the years.",
		url: "/img/gallery/illustration/",
		date: new Date("October 20, 2025"),
		galleryImage: "doodle.webp",
		galleryImageAlt: "",
		pictures: [
			{
				title: "Just a wee ice-cream doodle",
				filename: "doodle.webp",
				altText:
					"A rubber-hose doodle of an ice cream cone holding two mini ice-cream cones.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A rubber-hose doodle of an ice cream cone holding two mini ice-cream cones.",
				caption:
					"Doodled this one day and decided to do a vector trace for fun.",
			},
			{
				title: "A vector illustration of a vape",
				filename: "Evod Vector-01_white_copy.webp",
				altText: "A vector illustration of an old-school Evod vape pen.",
				thumbAltText: "A vector illustration of an old-school Evod vape pen.",
				caption:
					"I made this many years ago when vapes were just hitting the market for a website selling e-liquid. The site actually won Adobe Muse Site of the Day!",
			},
			{
				title: "A vector illustration of an empty e-liquid bottle",
				filename: "10MlBottleVector-08_copy.webp",
				altText: "A vector illustration of a 10ml e-liquid bottle.",
				thumbAltText: "A vector illustration of a 10ml e-liquid bottle.",
				caption: "I also made this for the aforementioned website.",
			},
			{
				title: "A vector illustration of a Sony Xperia Phone",
				filename: "sony illustration-01.webp",
				altText: "A vector illustration of an old-school Sony Xperia phone.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A vector illustration of an old-school Sony Xperia phone.",
				caption: "I made this just for fun. It took ages.",
			},
		],
	},
	{
		title: "Pop Tart Flavor Memes",
		description:
			"One day, almost certainly when I ought to have been doing something more important, I discovered a meme format featuring Pop Tart boxes edited to have outlandish flavors on the packaging. Naturally, I had to collect as many as I could find. Here's what I've got:",
		synopsis: "Some very unusual Pop Tart flavors…",
		url: "/img/gallery/poptarts/",
		date: new Date("November 26, 2024"),
		galleryImage: "pop_tart_flavor_2.webp",
		galleryImageAlt: "",
		pictures: [
			{
				title: "Frosted New England Clam Chowder",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_1.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted New England Clam Chowder",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Tree Bark",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_2.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Tree Bark",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Boot Leather",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_3.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Boot Leather",
				caption: "I've dropped this bad boy on a twitter thread or two.",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Kermit",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_4.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Kermit",
				caption: "Is it worth it?",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Bare Chest",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_5.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Bare Chest",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Lysol Wipes",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_6.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Lysol Wipes",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Mine Tarts",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_7.webp",
				altText: "Minecraft Frosted Grass Block",
				thumbAltText: "Minecraft Frosted Grass Block",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Earth Worms",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_8.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Earth Worms",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Ground Beef",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_9.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Ground Beef",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Black Coffee",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_10.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Black Coffee",
				caption: "Unironically: I'd eat this.",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Gasoline",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_11.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Gasoline",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Tide Pods",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_12.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Tide Pods",
				caption: `I once saw a lady drop a container of Tide Pods in the supermarket; without thinking I blurted out: "Oop, five second rule!" and didn't even get a laugh. Brutal.`,
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Hot Dog Water",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_13.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Hot Dog Water",
				caption:
					"Frankly, I'd sooner have the frosted lysol wipe Pop Tarts. 🤮",
			},
			{
				title: "NY Style Sewer Rat",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_14.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "NY Style Sewer Rat",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Caviar",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_15.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Caviar",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Elmer's Glue",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_16.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Elmer's Glue",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Crusty!",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_17.webp",
				altText: "Crusty! Cement Flavor",
				thumbAltText: "Crusty! Cement Flavor",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Nuclear Waste",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_18.webp",
				altText: "Frosted Nuclear Waste: Made with real waste!",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Nuclear Waste: Made with real waste!",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Beans",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_19.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Beans",
				caption: "I'd give it a shot.",
			},
			{
				title: "Shower Pack",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_20.webp",
				altText:
					"Shower Pack, 3 in 1 formula! Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.",
				thumbAltText:
					"Shower Pack, 3 in 1 formula! Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Limited Edition",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_21.webp",
				altText: "Limited Edition: Just the Crust",
				thumbAltText: "Limited Edition: Just the Crust",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted McDonald's Sprite",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_22.webp",
				altText: "Frosted",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Fresh Cut Grass",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_23.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Fresh Cut Grass",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Windex",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_24.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Windex",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Popcorn Ceiling",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_25.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Popcorn Ceiling",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Sharkboy & Lavagirl",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_26.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Sharkboy & Lavagirl",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted The Sun",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_27.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted The Sun",
				caption: "I don't know why, but I feel like these would be delicious.",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Axe",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_28.webp",
				altText: "Frosted Axe body Spray",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Axe body Spray",
				caption: "I would simply die.",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Miracle Whip",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_29.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Miracle Whip",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Water",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_30.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Water",
				caption: "I'd give it a shot.",
			},
			{
				title: "Encrusted",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_31.webp",
				altText: "Encrusted Play-Doh",
				thumbAltText: "Encrusted Play-Doh",
				caption: "They'd smell delicious at least.",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Aluminum Foil",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_32.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Aluminum Foil",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Frosted Orange Juice and Toothpaste",
				filename: "pop_tart_flavor_33.webp",
				altText: "",
				thumbAltText: "Frosted Orange Juice and Toothpaste",
				caption: "Honestly, this may be the worst of them all.",
			},
		],
	},
	{
		title: "Shots from April 2024",
		description:
			"Sol and I went out for a walk down the street with a couple of cameras.",
		synopsis:
			"Sol and I went out for a walk down the street with a couple of cameras.",
		url: "/img/gallery/april2024/",
		date: new Date("January 23, 2025"),
		galleryImage: "april_2024_4.webp",
		galleryImageAlt: "",
		pictures: [
			{
				title: "Sol shoots some flowers.",
				filename: "april_2024_1.webp",
				altText:
					"A person in a beanie staring down a camera viewfinder at some tulips.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A person in a beanie staring down a camera viewfinder at some tulips.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "We were being watched…",
				filename: "april_2024_2.webp",
				altText: "Some cats staring at us through a window screen.",
				thumbAltText: "Some cats staring at us through a window screen.",
				caption: "Somehow I don't mind these nosy neighbors.",
			},
			{
				title: "A pole.",
				filename: "april_2024_3.webp",
				altText: "A closeup of a black painted pole with stickers on it.",
				thumbAltText: "A closeup of a black painted pole with stickers on it.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Love this storefront.",
				filename: "april_2024_4.webp",
				altText:
					"A storefront painted vividly with lots of colors, dots and flowers.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A storefront painted vividly with lots of colors, dots and flowers.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Another pole.",
				filename: "april_2024_5.webp",
				altText: "A wide, beige painted pole covered in ads and notices.",
				thumbAltText: "A wide, beige painted pole covered in ads and notices.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Can't get enough of that pole.",
				filename: "april_2024_6.webp",
				altText:
					"A mushroom-like green canopy on top of the beige pole, with lettering spelling out Roscoe Village.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A mushroom-like green canopy on top of the beige pole, with lettering spelling out Roscoe Village.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "The infamous Chicago Rat Hole.",
				filename: "april_2024_7.webp",
				altText:
					"An impression in the sidewalk of what is likely a squirrel; it is filled with coins and rocks left as tribute.",
				thumbAltText:
					"An impression in the sidewalk of what is likely a squirrel; it is filled with coins and rocks left as tribute.",
				caption: "That has to be a squirrel.",
			},
			{
				title: "A courtesy to cyclists.",
				filename: "april_2024_8.webp",
				altText:
					"A crusty old parking meter with a ghost sticker and graffiti on it. Inside of the meter window reads: Meter remains as a courtesy to cyclists. Please pay at pay box.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A crusty old parking meter with a ghost sticker and graffiti on it. Inside of the meter window reads: Meter remains as a courtesy to cyclists. Please pay at pay box.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "A brick building.",
				filename: "april_2024_9.webp",
				altText:
					"The front of a red brick building with two potted plants in front of the door. The wall has many of those little square glass-tiles to allow in light while affording privacy.",
				thumbAltText:
					"The front of a red brick building with two potted plants in front of the door. The wall has many of those little square glass-tiles to allow in light while affording privacy.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Weed.",
				filename: "april_2024_10.webp",
				altText:
					"A closeup of a dandelion ready to have its seeds blown into the wind.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A closeup of a dandelion ready to have its seeds blown into the wind.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "Another creative storefront",
				filename: "april_2024_11.webp",
				altText:
					"A storefront with painted illustrations of a woman giving a baby a bath, and several stylized women carrying baskets of fruit and flowers on their heads.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A storefront with painted illustrations of a woman giving a baby a bath, and several stylized women carrying baskets of fruit and flowers on their heads.",
				caption: "",
			},
			{
				title: "A robin crossing the street.",
				filename: "april_2024_12.webp",
				altText:
					"A robin runs across the street, casting a long shadow for such a small fellow.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A robin runs across the street, casting a long shadow for such a small fellow.",
				caption: "",
			},
		],
	},
	{
		title: "Shots on film",
		description: "Some random pictures I took on film years ago.",
		synopsis: "Some random pictures I took on film years ago.",
		url: "/img/gallery/film/",
		date: new Date("October 20, 2025"),
		galleryImage: "3.webp",
		galleryImageAlt: "",
		pictures: [
			{
				title: "Tat",
				filename: "1.webp",
				altText:
					"A not-very-good close-up of some oils, spices, and sauces on a kitchen counter.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A not-very-good close-up of some oils, spices, and sauces on a kitchen counter.",
				caption: "I do like to take pictures of random tat.",
			},
			{
				title: "A scented candle",
				filename: "2.webp",
				altText: "A scented candle on the corner of a table.",
				thumbAltText: "A scented candle on the corner of a table.",
				caption: "More tat.",
			},
			{
				title: "A pretty old camera",
				filename: "3.webp",
				altText: "A blurry Pentax camera.",
				thumbAltText: "A blurry Pentax camera.",
				caption:
					"Given to me, like the camera I am using to take the picture, by a photography friend years ago.",
			},
			{
				title: "Double exposure tat",
				filename: "4.webp",
				altText:
					"A double exposure of a carved wood incense burner in the shape of a man and a surreal silk painting.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A double exposure of a carved wood incense burner in the shape of a man and a surreal silk painting.",
				caption: "Is that a box of Satya in the background? Hard to say.",
			},
			{
				title: "Birds on pot",
				filename: "5.webp",
				altText: "Some bird silhouettes sat atop a chimney pot.",
				thumbAltText: "Some bird silhouettes sat atop a chimney pot.",
				caption: "Dare to resist pot.",
			},
			{
				title: "Streetlamp",
				filename: "6.webp",
				altText:
					"A streetlamp with snow on top, by some snowy trees, all in front of a stone building.",
				thumbAltText:
					"A streetlamp with snow on top, by some snowy trees, all in front of a stone building.",
				caption: "Pretty sure I took this through a window.",
			},
			{
				title: "The cutting edge",
				filename: "7.webp",
				altText: "A small electric paper guillotine.",
				thumbAltText: "A small electric paper guillotine.",
				caption: "Lost a fingernail to this thing once.",
			},
		],
	},
];
